“I need to actually stay in fat zone two.”
– Her new FitBit is our new boss.
“I’m very confusing this morning.”
– This is really saying something.
“What was the fuzzy wuzzy double fuzz that I liked?”
– A specific brand of fur-lined slippers.
“Not peacefully out!”
– Sometimes you drop the mic. Sometimes you throw it down.
“I need a little more slowness.”
– When you’re fighting a cold there’s no need for speed.
“It’s like a little Smurf apple.”
– AKA a cashew.
“You’re the sense of reason right now.”
– We should all be concerned.
“They have food techniques like Bleston Humanthal.”
– Her brain might be cooked.
“My butt loves this car.”
– Seat warmers are the bomb.
“I hate when you buy a mandarin and it’s piss weak.”
– She likes her 🍊 with 💪
“It’s too bad cheese isn’t a vegetable.”
– Everyone everywhere agrees.