– She doesn’t even have to be drunk.
“I can’t pop this zit because the skin around it is too bulgeous.”
– Squeezing out new words. Daily.
“It’s time lights out switches switching”
– Definitely past her bedtime.
“It’s a Finese chire drill.”
– We are not racist. Intentionally.
“She’s like a head in deer lights.”
– Get out of the road dumb ass.
“This might be worse than when Chumpsfeld was President”
– You know, Cheney + Rumsfeld. Chumpsfeld.
“I think all the brain went to my belly.”
– This is what I get for asking her a “tough” question after she’d just finished a steak.
“Our mango tree is going bananas!”
– It is. We’re going to have a lot of banangos this season.
“I’m gonna make us some pale kortuguese soup.”
– She doesn’t always have to be sleepy. Hunger can also, apparently, trigger the problem.
“I’d like to be a why on the floor.”
– I think she meant she’d like to be a fly on the wall. To spy on someone.
“My frees are toesing cold.”
– In bed. Without socks. Again. (She knows she has cold feet.)