“Red wine on top of tiredness equals melted human.”
– Friday nights end early around here.
Author: Husband
“You were an asshole. I don’t think you’re an asshole now.”
– I love it when she whispers sweet nothings in my ear.
“It’s not good to sneeze when you got egg in your mouth.”
– 🥚💣
“I must have had about thirty ear orgasms already.”
– Sometimes a song just hits you in that special place.
“I woulda been a good hippie.”
– There’s still time.
“Hot off the fresh.”
– Some sentences come out of the oven too soon.
“I don’t like your snarkitude.”
– Whatever. I’m still right.
“I just want to get my wobble off.”
– After an ear infection, it feels good to release the dizziness.
“Maybe I’m allergic to doing anything.”
– Must be no-can-do season.
“That’s genius what I just did!”
– She put granola on coffee ice cream.
“We’re going to have to listen to this again. In silence.”
– I now know I shouldn’t talk while certain songs play.