“I like those burps that have a deep roundness to them.”
– A satisfying rumble is the least weird thing to come out of her mouth.
Author: Husband
“I feel like a Welsh rabbit.”
– Not a bunny rarebit.
“What was the dog’s name? The beer dog? Barf?”
– Sorry Spuds, but from now on you’ll always be “Barf” to me.
How should we bring this twist to a new turn?
– The answer is just around the corner.
I’m having a fit of fuck this-ness.
– She’s beautiful when she’s angry.
“I’d like to do some animal morphing.”
– She wants to transform into a Wonder Twin while I transform her words.
“I super fried myself.”
– When she works too hard her brain gets a crispy.
“It’s gonna be non-snot.”
– Thank God for allergy pills.
“I really see myself in that dog.”
– And by “that dog,” she means this dog.
“Oh yeah, I’m pimpin’ my toast.”
– Why settle for 🧈 when you can have 🥑 🥬 🍅 🧀 🧂🌶?
“That’s a perfect breakfast dessert.”
– She’s such a chai hard.