I’m having a fit of fuck this-ness.
– She’s beautiful when she’s angry.
“I’d like to do some animal morphing.”
– She wants to transform into a Wonder Twin while I transform her words.
“I super fried myself.”
– When she works too hard her brain can get a bit crispy.
“It’s gonna be non-snot.”
– Thank God for allergy pills.
“I really see myself in that dog.”
– And by “that dog,” she means this dog.
“Oh yeah, I’m pimpin’ my toast.”
– Why settle for 🧈 when you can have 🥑 🥬 🍅 🧀 🧂🌶?
“That’s a perfect breakfast dessert.”
– She’s a real chai hard.
“Today just feels like you need to have a furry Ugg suit on.”
– But nothing replaces a warm hug.
“Sometimes I think I could eat mashed potatoes all day long.”
– Only sometimes?
“Do you think when we nail a good recipe the ingredients are all like, “fuck yeah, this was worth my life?”
– No. But mealtime with her is worth mine.
“There’s something farting on the moon!”
– Could be true.