– Sometimes a massage can be surprisingly painful. In a good way.
“LED light bulbs? Those assholes can go to hell.”
– When you see the light, you’ll see she’s right.
“I’m disassociating from any kind of give a shitness.”
– Sometimes you just stop caring.
“I’m giving them the skunk eye.”
– Not all skunks stink when you look at them.
“Just get your shooty moon on.”
– Plan your moonshot idea or goal, and go for it.
“Listen to the Ka-ka Koo-koo’s!”
– A new bird species. Part Kookaburra, part Rosella, part Sulphur Crested Cockatoo. Zero parts Rainbow Lorikeet.
“I’ve noticed how grippy I’ve become.”
– She’s got yoga toes now, but still has to open a jar of peanut butter with her hands. 
“This place should be hoppening all the time. “
– And if you happen to stop by it may be hopping.
“I have to make some bum burps now.”
– These are almost as bad as mouth farts. Also, “Mouth Farts” might be a better name for this blog.
“Mental hellness.”
– America. Now.
“There’s not enough icing on the meat.”
– Nor cake on the bone.