“Having coal croquettes makes everything taste amazing.”

– When you stuff briquettes with nonsense.

“They’re like halitosis farms.”

– Mouthguards might also be helping produce verbal nonsense.

“This is like eating Grimace’s sperm.”

– How does she know?!

(Who the hell is Grimace?)

“All my words are hiding from me.”

– Except these lucky seven.

“You got a leak in your snuggle tank.”

– A hug is the plug.

“You’re drinking a sick woman’s liquids.”

– Never has a glass of water suddenly looked so gross.

“I wish my eyelid could smoke marijuana.”

– Ain’t nuthin’ like rollin’ with a high stye.

“I’m glad you’re a multipliciter.”

– She appreciates my large number of talents.

“You were tootin’ n scootin’.”

– Sometimes when you are on a run you have to fart.

“You’ve got ears that are pet-able.”

– Woof!