– We were discussing who would look after our pet goat and donkey when we travelled. If we had a pet goat and donkey.
“Maybe we have to make you a filler bridge.”
– It fills in the hole and bridges the gap. Where your tooth used to be. Duh.
“He should be a character in a milm or foovie.”
– Casting call: teenaged Hasidic Jew, male, riding electric one wheel skateboard, with dapper Fedora, wispy shylocks and that shirt thing with the dangly tassels.
“Boy that smeller fells good.”
– Regarding a particularly fragrant flower.
“America right now is like you have the cramps and you just want to shit it all out.”
– Trump #loser
“We’ve got a dite.”
– Shorthand for “a date in the diary.”
“He does it on purpose. So he can be the beef of the street.”
– Why our cat eats so much and gets fat.
“Your bloodshots are all eyes.”
– I could see her point.
Let’s fuck some sheeple up.
– Shit + People. (Not the other kind, who can’t think for themselves).
“I read ‘PUSH’ backwards.”
– She pulled on the door. Obviously.
“That dress has a lot of layers. It’s like a geodesic strata something.”
– I think she was really talking about the birthday cake.